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Just the beginning..

Psychic Healing

The black door opened  a small wiry women looked nervously at me and she stood aside and asked me in,  I stood on the threshold of this small empty house and the smell of neglect sept through the walls straight into my nostrils

We moved into a small hallway littered with cigarette ends and discarded hair and as she led me to the sitting room the smell was distracting.  She offer me a seat and we sat for a second, I looked deeply into her eyes,  the pain was there naked and raw. I told her a little of what I do and what to expect and asked her name ” Oh I’m Sheila” her hands were trembling and she seemed cold and exhausted

“The love you have shared is eternal regardless of the situation”,

I said in reassurance and a tear ran freely down her cheek. I held her hand for a second, a watery smile surfaced into view has the sun struggled through the dirt stained window into the room.

I wanted to tell her about what I had for her in the future but somehow it didn’t seem right to take her feelings  and dismiss them by moving too quickly over them. I was curious  to know her story, and happy to feel the elders come around me and hear their voices guiding me to help in which ever way I could.

A girl of about 10 appeared at the side of her, She had her mothers eyes and I could  hear he sayings “Tell her I love her and that I am happy and at peace ” she smiled and then said her name “Jessie without me having to ask.

I look directly at Sheila and repeated what her daughter had said  and a stream of information came through, all evidence that that this mother needed  and I began giving her the messages her deceased child was telling me.  Her shocked face changed and lit up as the words could only have come from the child and she knew then she was with her. The child said she  had no recollection of her death just that at first she missed her Mum so much. She told her that she was not happy  that the house looked so neglected and she wanted her to know that she cared that her Mum was not happy.

Soon the little girl had given her message and left and now it was time to shuffle the Tarot cards

Slowly has we proceeded she began to relax and seemed in a better place than when I had first arrived and so the hour passed quickly. With the tarot cards spread out in front of her she looked unsure, I spoke gently to her and I had asked her to shuffle the cards and pull out  three cards. We lay the cards on the table and looked at them

She laid her hands on the first card and said “What does that mean” It was the 9 of Swords it meant the pain she had suffered at the loss of her only daughter and the other losses she had suffer soon surfaced. Her story began to unfold and slowly and quietly she spoke of  her husband who left shortly after the child’s death and how ill her own Mother was then, also how a friend had let her down and how difficult it had been for her to face life in isolation. Tears now ran freely down her face.

The Moon was the second card in the trilogy and this card  for her in this place in the reading  shows the result of all the pain and loss she felt and had turned into a deepening depression she had endured and not been able to escape or even understand.

The third card was the 10 of Wands and this signified  the burdens she had carried and how she had made herself  responsible for all the ills that had besieged her and how she then made it very difficult to heal.

As we passed through the cards her appearance changed, she became more animated and moved closer to the tabel. She told her tale well and at the end the very last three cards were place on the tabel and she suddenly smiled as if she knew what I was going to say.. The Ace of Wands is bright with expectation, growth and new beginnings and it  appearance made it impossible for me to think in a negative way about this women’s life.  With a lighter heart  I had  decided to try to move her forward,  after all it was part of the deal: just not too quickly.

I asked her where she thought she might start in piecing her life back together, because it was very obvious that she had a great future in front of her and I needed her to mark it herself. She took a deep breath in and said ” I have no idea,I feel stuck I full of grief  for so long, I had not believed that I could have a future at all”

The Justice card lay at the side of the first card and I asked her if she felt like she was doing herself justice, ” Of course not “she shook her head and said she couldn’t  eat properly, or anything else at that moment. A large sigh escaped and she twisted the handkerchief in her hand, and she looked at me as if a penny had just dropped and she stared off into a space which gave ups it secrets and gave her a vision of what she would need to do to get her life back.

The third card  felt warm in my hand and I became excited, I sometime sense what is coming before I turn a card over and this was the opening  I needed to explain what she could expect in the near future. As I spoke I could see disbelief in her eyes I carried on knowing I needed  to bring her back to herself some how.

The Ace of Cups represents the birth of self love and the new seed of loving feelings being born. It is a card of  expanding  emotions  and because it appeared in the third slot  as her future card it was ideal to open up the conversation about how she would experience this in her new future. It was there to let  her know that she needed to bring in the love that was sadly missing, the love for herself began with forgiveness I reminded her. How could she been totally reponsible for other peoples actions and that being so isolated had created her mind set. I wanted her to know that she was loved no matter what she thought and even though I knew and said she was loved for just for being alive . She looked at me with a disbelief and getting her to acknowledge she need help with this turn around was perhaps one of the largest mountains I have had to climb for sometime..

Today I met Sheila for coffee, she always brings me flowers. She looked so different from the first time I met her. At peace and now in love.



6 of Swords Moving On

^ of swords

This is why I love working with the Tarot,  many many times I have not been able to put how I feel into words and to be able to look at a symbol and know that this is just what I meant and then the words come instantly.
 When I get a card continually I have to look at what it is saying and I have been getting the six of swords on a regular basis and wanted to know what it is that this is trying to tell me.
The basic meaning of the card is coming to an end of a difficult cycle but before I can complete the cycle I must know what it is I am moving away from! So I began to look for other interpretations and this is one I really love.
At one point in The Pilgrim’s Progress, the hero Christian (who is also on a Fool’s Journey) becomes mired in the Slough of Despond. He struggles for a time until drawn out by Help. Help tells him that “…many fears, and doubts, and discouraging apprehensions…settle in this place.”
The Slough of Despond is a good name for the Six of Swords. Sometimes this card represents a dull, listless state. Nothing is seriously wrong, but nothing is really right either. You’re getting by, but not thriving. I couldn’t put it better my self.
 Life is indeed uninteresting when we feel the blues. and I know this is a state that as been with me for some time.
In a more positive vein, the Six of Swords can indicate recovery. This is especially true when you have just experienced a tough time or psychological blow. During the crisis, you felt numb and disconnected; nothing mattered at all. Now you are beginning to heal and pick up the pieces of your life. The travelers in our boat are at least moving forward. They are headed toward a new place, even if they are not yet ready to eagerly embrace those shores.
In fact, the Six of Swords can indicate travel and moves of all kinds. This could mean an actual change of scene, relocation or trip, but not necessarily. A journey can also take place on the inner planes as we move from one frame of mind to another.
Although the Six of Swords does not promise great joy, it also avoids the depths of despair. A slough is not a bottomless pit, but simply a hollow or depression. When you see this card, know that even though the situation is not ideal, you are moving toward a more positive place. Change is in the air, and new, more hopeful conditions lie ahead.
Feeling the blues, makes me sing and it sometimes  its all I can do. Experiencing a low-level sadness and then
just keeping your head above water, working to get through the day, feeling somewhat depressed, avoiding the lows, but also the highs, feeling listless, functioning, but not much more, and then recovering from the effects of trauma and them dealing with the effects of trauma, getting over a tough time, picking up the pieces
starting to cope, beginning to get your health back,heading toward a more positive place, feeling hope again.

Traveling, changing location, moving from one place to another, taking a trip, experiencing a change of scene
being uprooted, going on a journey, entering into a new frame of mind. Begining told that I had Posttramatic Stress Disorder has changed my whole world and the Six Swords just keep letting me know I am moving on.

Perfect Timing for a Dreaming Soul

This is the right time for me to move forward and keep the faith that my prayers are being answered.

I read Dreaming the Secret Wishes of the Soul by Robert Moss and I found that the wordshe used where ones that  I had never been able to voice  in my life  but realted to on a fundemental level and has a dreamer he spoke directly to my soul.

“One of the greatest gifts of dreaming is that it puts us in touch with soul”

 Was  the opening line in the first paragraph, and it therefore  made me think and remember times I had  often wondered what dreaming was all about?.

Was it just something  we did when we went to sleep? Or was  it was it like walking through another  door in our minds has we slept, by slipping into a different rooms that vaguely resembled my waking world, but had a fluid landscape and strange situations and people.  

“It takes us beyond the limited understanding of the everyday self and shows us who we are, what our soul’s purpose is in this life experience and what our heart truly yearns for.”

Yes~I began to see that  it is the sound of my soul’s voice talking to me in visions.

He goes on to say that:

“There is a word for this vital function of dreams in the language of the Huron, a dreaming people of North America.The word is ondinnonk, and it means a “secret wish of the soul”, especially as revealed in dreams.”

What does your “secret wish of soul” reveal to you. If you knew that dreaming was every part has important to your life what would you do?  Find out more about how to understand your dreams, listen to their message and set about fulfilling your souls’ secret wish?.

these were questions that I wanted to answer for myself and I have always dreamed and understood that they were important in my quest for healing. I have always encouraged those around me to understand that their dream life is as  important has their waking lives and to be aware of their dreams and there symbols. Mine was finding a voice and I found that my still small souls’ voice guiding me in my judgement in all the situations I have in my life.and  I found it mainly  in my dreams. 

How this tends works is that if anything is  bothering me  in the day sure enough it comes to me in my dreams, and I have whole conversations  with the people involved and a few turn up who I dont know in my waking life  but tended  to have lots to say, trying to problem solve. My dreams were always in vivid colours and I could bring back whole conversations that would solve the problems I had in my waking life.

I ama survivor of child abuse, and had many times was in so much pain that it was a wonder I survived. I had mild learning difficulties, and had disassociated from myself  and my pain without knowing this. i drank and smoked would be completly distructive in all my relationships and them had anger issues.The only thing I did realte to was my imagination and my dreams and I would be fasinated when I dreamt something. the other thing that was happening at the time was my psychic awareness was growing but at that point didnt have a vioce.

I had a dream which I related to this and was so strong it was impossible to ignore it. I had been asking for a way forward in my healing and knowing I had a lot to do I had been talking about to members in a Women’s support group I ran at that time. So when I was twenty six  I have a very strong dream and it was of  figures coming out of cards, all complete and alive all addressed with vivid colours all talking at the same time. I had a warm feeling and had the most interesting conversations, especially with one image, she was a women stilling between to large pillars with a head dress and white  flowing robes, she spoke of my Mother and my Brother, who had both past two years earlier. They had told her to come to me and tell me that I need to walk the path of being a healer. 

 I had no idea that they were Tarot cards in my dream has I had never been around anyone who had any Tarot cards and I had never pick  any up  or had a reading by anyone else, but here they were all twenty~two of them all clamouring for my attention.  This dream stayed with me all the next day and their words came back to me, in the end I went with my husband and found these very same cards and even the box which was black white and red they came in was the same one has in my dream. The back of the cards had a cross on it with a lotus in the middle of the card and the background had diamond shapes with all different colours on . i know now that they were the Alister Crowley cards

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I was totally astounded to find the very same cards in the shop as in my dream and even then I was directed to the shop by my guide. It turned out to be the greatest single thing that happened to and there has been some close run others has contenders, but me listening to the small voice took me on that  healing path and now I am so grateful that I listened.

For out of that  I developed some really great skill with people and had an excellent education that I would never have had in school, has it was about my psychic life and power. In fact this mirrored my souls’ purpose and gave me my start on my lives ‘ journey.

Excerpts from:Dreaming the Secret Wishes of the Soul by Robert Moss