Achievement and happiness begins with self confidence
As you may know , having poor self confidence
or low self esteem can make many things really difficult.
Conversely, when you have self confidence that is solid
and reliable, most things become easy AND fun as well!
Good self confidence allows you to achieve the real goals
in your life whether they are to do with work, relationships
or just being comfortable with yourself.
Without self-confidence it’s difficult to fulfil your
potential in any area…
If you’re giving a presentation and you’re constantly
worrying about how you’re coming across, that’s a waste
of brain power!
How much more compelling, exciting or persuasive would
you be if all of your attention was focused powerfully
on the job in hand?
If you’re talking to someone you’d like to get to know
better, how will you come across if you’re always
thinking ‘Am I saying the right thing?’, ‘Do they like me?’,
and so on…
If you’re going out socially, you need to be able to
ENJOY IT! That’s what socialising is about!
People need other people, but without self-confidence,
you miss out on the joy that good relationships bring.
The Unthinkable Is Possible!
Think about it now. When are you at your most relaxed,
happy, funny, or chatty? I’ll bet it’s when you’re with
people you’re most comfortable with. Maybe old friends,
or family perhaps.
Now, what if you could feel that good meeting new people,
in a meeting at work or doing public speaking? What if
you could really feel ‘I am what I am, take it or leave it!’?
How would things be if you could go into ANY situation
with curiosity and a sense of fun, with the thought
‘Whatever happens here, I’ll be fine’?
I’m here to tell you this is not only possible, it’s pretty
easy too! But it will take a little work from you. Just keep
the benefits in mind.
What will it mean to you to be 100% confident?
Not arrogant, not loud and annoying, just easily,
calmly confident about who you are and what you can do.
It’s essential for your motivation that you do this.
Think a little about it now. What will those old difficult
situations be like once you are self confident? How will you
feel with that person that currently causes you problems?
Yep, you can allow yourself to get a bit excited, because
it’s coming your way – the automatic ability to be fully
self-confident and allow yourself to achieve everything
you’re capable of.
So, when it comes to building self confidence, we’ve had a whole
lot of experience.
THE SELF CONFIDENCE COURSE
To ensures that your new confident attitude
has time to ‘sink in’. In this way, your self confidence
will become a habit, not an effort!During the course, you will be asked to do things that might not make sense at first. We’d like to ask you to JUST DO IT!
One of the things we’ll be talking about is that you can’t have
confidence something will work until you’ve done it, and
have got the evidence! In addition, it is better if you do each Tutorial each week so that the ideas and new experiences have time to ‘sink in’ before the next tutorial.
Moreover, if you are serious about building your self confidence, you will need to take about 15 minutes each week to complete the course requirements. 15 MINUTES A WEEK for something that could radically change your life for the better. Worth it? We think so. OK, so on to the nitty-gritty! This is the way the course goes
Tutorial 1 (this one) : Evaluation of the current situation
Tutorial 2: Preparation for success
Tutorial 3: Implementation of your confident attitude
Tutorial 4: Utilisation of your new skills
Tutorial 5: Consolidation of self confidence
Tutorial 6: Realisation of your goals
Now before we start, there’s one more thing I’d like to ask
you to do. Make a document called ‘Confidence course notes’ and type at the top http://www.self-confidence.co.uk. Keep it in your personal documents folder. This way, if you lose your emails, or anything goes wrong with your email server, you’ll know where to find us. This will be where youkeep your course notes as we progress. OK, so let us get going.
Firstly, the 3 biggest myths of self-confidence. These are the most
common things we hear from confidence clients.
1) "You have to be born with it."
Not true, self confidence is a set of skills that can be learned,
just like learning to drive or play a game.
2) "If you’ve had your confidence destroyed, it’s gone for good."
Wrong. It may take a greater leap of faith to start building it back
up, but once you’re there you’ll be much hardier than you were before
and less likely to have your confidence shaken again.
3) "I’ll know I’m confident when I can be sure I’ll succeed at
How can you know you’ll succeed when you’ve never done something
Confidence is much more about tolerating uncertainty:
being cool with not knowing what is going to happen.
It’s important that you look at these and see if you have been
thinking along any of these lines.
In your notes, write down whether you think any of these are
true. I don’t want you to change your mind now, but it will be
interesting to look back in a few weeks time to see how your
ideas about self confidence have changed.
Great self confidence can be learned, and you’re going to learn it!
Trainer Tip – Assessing the Situation
With reference to number 3) above, you can use Track 2 on CD1
‘The TEST Model’ to assess your ‘confidence readiness’
for a new or existing situation. This will show you
exactly where to focus your efforts to increase your
Now onto your first exercise.
*IMPORTANT* – Although these answers are for your own reference, please write them down now, it’s a vital first step, and
you will need them later.
The essential first step to building your self-confidence is to
assess what ‘self confidence’ means to you.
Just saying ‘I want to be more confident’ is like saying
‘I just want to travel’! Where? How? When?
So, an example might be: "When I am with a new group of
people, I want to be able to relax, join in conversations and ask
people about themselves."
In your course notes, write your answers to the following questions:
1) What does ‘self confidence’ mean to you? Generally, your answer
should start with "I want to be able to…" or "I want to be…" Stay
away from "I don’t want to be…", "I want to be less…" and other
‘avoiding’ statements. You need to know where you going, not where
you’ve come from!
2) In what situations do you need more confidence?
3) Where do you already have it? – For example: with your family,
friends, at work…? Around which of the following are you confident in your abilities? Cooking, gardening, vocabulary, spelling,
exercising, driving? What do you just know you can do without
thinking about it?
Trainer Tip – A Confidence Trigger
On the Self Confidence Trainer, you’ll find a
hypnotic session that is designed to give you easy
access to feelings of confidence. As part of the
session, you’ll be asked about times you have felt
good. You can use your answers to question 3 in
4) Write down one thing you will be able to do once you have the confidence you need. This should be something tangible, like making a particular phone call, saying something to a particular person, giving a presentation, speaking up in a situation. We will refer back to this later.
Write these answers down now. When you think you’ve got all of them; stop, take a deep breath and then think some more until you come up with others.
Really, please do this now. We will be using your answers
next week. We know that people who really apply themselves
to this course get great results!
Trainer Tip – Rehearsing Success
Track 4 on CD2 enables you to rehearse things
going really well in a difficult situation. This
is an amazingly simple, but incredibly effective
technique when done properly (it’s usually done
badly in the form of ‘Positive Thinking’ !)
You can use your answer to 4) in this exercise.
This will make you feel much more capable and
optimistic about success in this area, and
drastically increase the likelihood of things
That’s it! You’ve completed Tutorial 1. It does take a little
effort, but the payback will be worth it!
Finally, thanks for choosing me as your Confidence Coach.
I appreciate you giving me the chance to share this
life-changing experience with you.