Learning the Art of Writing

Archive for June, 2011

Power animals

Dragonfly embodies a stripping away of all the beliefs that say we cannot achieve dreams or goals.

It helps  to remind us that anything is possible when we understanding that we are part of  Spirit and as such we have the power to manifest anything that we want.
Dragonfly is the keeper of dreams, the knower within that sees all of our true potential and ability. Dragonfly strips away the illusions that say to us we cannot achieve our dreams and goals, that we are not worthy or capable when in fact it is our birthright and our true power to create anything we choose!

Dragonfly also connects us with the power of colour and the ability to work with many different colours to do anything we want to experience in life.

We can begin to see how the colours we wear via our clothing, the colours that we fill our homes with, even the colour of the car we drive is impacting us for better or worse.

Continually wearing dull drab colours while asking for more adventures or excitement in life sends the message that we do not really want what we are asking for.

The colour we surround ourselves with does set up a vibration that attracts circumstances and energies that reflect back to us what messages we are sending forth. If we want change we need to affirm that we are  willing for the changes to occur with colour vibrations that match the energy we are seeking to experience.

If one wants to become better recognized for the work one loves doing then wearing shades of red or violet will help one do that.

For new beginnings try wearing shades of green.

To feel more empowered try wearing shades of yellow.

To feel more deeply connected with the Universe and to develop greater intuitive ability, all shades of blues and indigo are excellent!

Colour is a very valuable tool in expressing who we are, who we desire to be and what we desire to experience in our lives. Look at the world around you: All of nature sets forth its intent and requests through the use of a vast range of colour. A flower will attract a pollinator through its colour. A Tree Frog may warn predators that it is not good to eat through the colours it displays on its body. A Lion can attract a mate through the colour of his mane.

Working with Dragonfly can also teach us how to use colour to attract that which we desire or at least, to understand what messages we ourselves are putting forth through the colours we wear!

Dragonfly also teaches us how to combine emotion with rational thought. Dragonflies in the early stages are known as Nymphs and spend most of their lives in the water. They are voracious predators which indicates that Dragonfly can also help one to eat away at anything in our lives that is out of control. They are especially helpful for addictions of all sorts including the more “well-known” addictions such as overeating, drinking to excess or drug addictions. Yet procrastination, over spending or maxing credit cards to the limit, daydreaming, overwork and so forth can all be addictions that rob one of the ability to create a balanced, fulfilling life. Most if not all addictions are due to suppressed emotional energies and traumas that are being compensated for through the addiction. Overeating for example can be a “medicine” for feeling unloved and Alcoholism “medicine” for depression. When Dragonfly appears it may show that there are addictions or other problems/pests that are “out of control” in your life that need to be examined and resolved. Often the main issue will not always be what it seems to be on the surface, it is important to peer beneath the emotional waters so to speak in order to understand what is really happening!
Once the Dragonfly has emerged as a winged adult, it conquers the air through its swift flight. This indicates that working with Dragonfly energy may also help you come to some swift conclusions or new insights that help propel you into new ways of being and doing. Certainly it is a most important time for seeing through illusions and really hearing the messages that the Universe is sending you at this time. Beliefs that centre on powerlessness, limitation or fear are likely to be up for review and release. You always have the power to choose what you are going to believe in and focus on You always have the power to take action of some sort that will help change your current circumstances for the better.

Working with Dragonfly medicine shows that you are ready to step beyond the mass thought of blaming “something out there” for your problems and instead are now getting down to the business of accepting responsibility for what happens in your life by making the appropriate changes as you feel guided.

People who carry Dragonfly medicine are often quite talented in the use of Colour for healing. They may see or sense the colours that an individual carries in their aura and can learn how to help the person adjust the colour rays so that one become more a part of their own healing process rather than relying on someone else to do the healing for them (which never works anyway!).

For example, if someone carries a heavy, murky colour of red in their aura which may lead to power struggles, constant irritations from others or things always going wrong, the Dragonfly person can help that person bring in the clear reds that are more empowering in terms of living with confidence but without the chip on the shoulder that begs for someone to come along and knock it off!

Or if someone has an aura that appears depleted of vital energy and colour, the Dragonfly person can help this person learn to work with drawing in all the colours of the Universe, both seen and unseen, to repair and invigorate the aura. A simple way of doing this is to start by focusing on all the colours of the rainbow and to visualize them entering into the aura via the Universal flow. This can be expanded by asking that all colours including those our human eyes are not yet able to perceive also flow into the aura. This can take as little as 1 minute up to 20 or more to do, normally though when one has attracted enough of this energy there is a sense of completion or “inner click” and the person just feels done with the process. This can be done as often as someone feels the need and is especially helpful during times of great stress or trauma. Colour is part of the “food” that the aura needs to stay strong and healthy so doing this several times a week or each day can be very uplifting and strengthening!
















Men behaving badly


HELPLESSNESS in my relationships as held me captive for many years and  I wanted to just write it out and see where it took me.

Helplessness often results when one partner assumes full control over the relationship and attacks the other partner’s competence.

There has been too many times that this has happen in the relationships I have had and not just romantic relationships, but with my children, my family and friends too. I have often wondered what I have done to engender this choice in other people, and still taking responsibility for the abuse I have suffered.

I am sometimes like a rabbit stuck in the head lights and do not  make any decisions just for myself. Instead I have learned to wait to “if” and “if only”.

One person makes all the decision. This is what is happening in all my relationships  at  that time  and I have no say in anything they decided.

I sometimes stand in the room and listen to their logic and knew that there is no connection between us  at all, because there is little truth in the way they interact with me. There is no warmth just condemnation.

That person does not hesitate to ridicule or criticize the other in public and in private Well its all done in the name of “fun” and  it is the open session on my stupidity and of course I have learnt how  to  self deprecating on cue and this is the role I slip into when I feel under attack. It takes the sting out of the tail of criticism and put me back in control at least in the short-term.

Words like “stupid,” “ignorant,” or “incompetent” are common.

Not long ago I worked with a group of people who went out of their way to find fault with everything I did to the point that I changed shifts  to get away from their criticism and judgements. Even then notes were left for me to  let me that I was still the scapegoat and I better not forget it. I ended up leaving this wonderful job and landed in a much worse place because somehow I began to believe them.


The abusing partner offers no reassurance, stability, or commitment. This pattern goes throughout my life, there are many other words I could put here to fill this out, but really I want to describe the fallout to this behaviour instead. Some years ago I realized that I had not really committed to my life and most of the time I just felt that I was slipping down a mountain of words that described me has a failure. The behaviour was that I moved all the time In fact I am still doing this and now I am fighting with a demon that wants me to believe that I can not be successful and  I really I should just sit still and not try to  play the part so well. In my defense I am aware of this type of behaviour and have taken steps to countermand it by using the emotional freedom technique.

It is impossible to predict either the behavior or the feelings of the abusing partner or of the relationship.

I just did’nt know where people where and where they were coming from. If I told  them the good things that are happening they ignore me. On the other hand when there is drama they are there saying never mind life is like that. I wanted  something different and I now know I have changed so much that even I don’t recognize myself sometimes I am getting to know the new me the healthy me.

Behaviour is characterized by the “off-again, on-again” pattern or by the abusing partner being often unavailable.Actions that produce pleasure one day may provoke verbal or even physical abuse the next.

I have stopped that pattern altogether and now  “Love don’t live here anymore there is just an empty space”I can live with this, it’s so hard sometimes and the loneliness drowns me with its  silence  but at least I am in control of this environment.


Hostility typically takes the form of aggression, anger, rage and irritability.”

In the last three years my daughter introduced a partner to the family and he communicated in that way mostly, it didn’t matter what said to him he was taking command and his hostile reaction to anything  that didn’t fit with what he thought was frightening at times.

The abused person responds in kind to the partner’s behavior, either openly or privately:

The last relationship I had I went down this path and even ended up, beating up my partner, after being taken to a party and being left at the top of the garden with only the dog to talk to I began to drink which is complete poison for me, anyway at the end of the night I was in the marque and so drunk I couldn’t really see I walked towards a slit where the light was coming in and tried to get out. My partner accused me of trying to knock the marque down. I went mad and we were driving and i just kept hitting him. I lost it for about two hours with everything coming out, and I raged so much I really frighten myself at the level of hostility I felt.

The open hostility would be characterized by a raised voice, hurtful or angry words, or accusations against the partner. He didn’t finish with me, which unnerved me because had he done that to me I would have never seen him again. but of course he didn’t he needed to punish me for my stepping out of line.

Private hostility includes such things as hidden resentment, plotted revenge, and private negative fantasies. My imagination went into overdrive, I was looking for the retribution all the time, the trust and the feeling s of being abandoned were just under the surface, and I became very defensive with everyone. Of course this linked into all the emotions of being a child who had been sexually abused, so I slipped in and out of my child like state. Just around that time the flash backs started again and life started to run away from me again.

The hostility may also be internalized as guilt or anger. My hostility raged and became a fire, I couldn’t be with anyone for a while I just beat myself up continually, my emotions ran riot and I became very depressed and withdrawn and out of control. Along with these emotions I had raging grief and wounds opened wide and no support.


Frustration results when the abusing partner fails to satisfy needs for affection, intimacy, attention, acceptance, approval, reassurance, praise, or any other emotional need.

When I first met my last partner I realized that I had not really learned the skills that other people had how to pass the courting phase, and jumped in with both feet. I made a huge assumption that he felt the same. On the outside he worked has a carer, and was very pleasant to everyone, was logical and a great listener. He was all those things and continued   until I was sucked to his world  and then slowly and innocently, suggestions were presented has if it was nothing out of the ordinary and I really need to “lighten up”

He forced me to do things that I would never had done with anyone else. The new part of me wasn’t having it. I became a detective and it didn’t matter what I did it was never enough, he praised everyone else and never mentioned my achievements, I just wasn’t good enough. He would work the room whilst I stood alone in the corner, but of course I didn’t my new bit of me went off and danced and sang and had a life completely to myself but these were short moments of reprieve because in the depth of the night I cried and raged. .

The rest of it lays before you here I can’t write anymore so I may come back to this and continue but if any of this relates to you just get out face the fear and find your true self.

CYNICISM Any action which constitutes a betrayal or abuse of trust is likely to result in cynicism. Obviously having an affair with another person fits into this category. Additionally, patterns of borrowing money which is never repaid, making promises which are seldom kept, or sharing information given in confidence will likely produce cynicism.

LOSS OF SELF-ESTEEM “This sign includes feelings of diminished self-worth, inadequacy, negative self-image, reduced self-confidence, and deterioration of self-respect, with associated depression.”Choosing to stay in a relationship in which a person feels devalued inevitably leads to increased loss of self-esteem. Loss of self-esteem happens through a cycle of faulty logic: First, you recognize that you are in a relationship in which you feel unloved, unworthy, and mistreated. That you would choose such a relationship causes you to doubt your judgment. Your try to “fix” it by changing yourself or your partner, but when that doesn’t work you conclude that you not only have poor judgment, you also are inept at relationship skills. Thus, you reason that “people get what they deserve,” and since you are being treated badly, you must deserve it. Obviously, then, the only thing for you to do is to accept the treatment since you “don’t deserve nor could hope for a better relationship.

HOPELESSNESS Hopelessness usually results after many vain attempts to communicate the need for a change, with the partner ignoring all approaches. A person who recognizes a lack of responsiveness is their partner should  be warned from the beginning that the relationship is developing in an unhealthy way and there is likely trouble ahead.

THE SOURCE OF HEALING Individuals and relationships do not have to succumb to hopelessness.Counseling is available to help both the abused and the abuser work through issues of self-esteem, communications, expectations,personal goals, and patterns of relating.

These seven signs and their descriptions are adapted from Chapter 4 of Lethal Lovers and Poisonous People, by

Harriet B. Braiker, published by Pocket Books.  Chapter 3 offers a self-diagnostic quiz to help an individual check the extent to which the “seven deadly signs” may be present with reference to a relationship.

Just the beginning..

Psychic Healing

The black door opened  a small wiry women looked nervously at me and she stood aside and asked me in,  I stood on the threshold of this small empty house and the smell of neglect sept through the walls straight into my nostrils

We moved into a small hallway littered with cigarette ends and discarded hair and as she led me to the sitting room the smell was distracting.  She offer me a seat and we sat for a second, I looked deeply into her eyes,  the pain was there naked and raw. I told her a little of what I do and what to expect and asked her name ” Oh I’m Sheila” her hands were trembling and she seemed cold and exhausted

“The love you have shared is eternal regardless of the situation”,

I said in reassurance and a tear ran freely down her cheek. I held her hand for a second, a watery smile surfaced into view has the sun struggled through the dirt stained window into the room.

I wanted to tell her about what I had for her in the future but somehow it didn’t seem right to take her feelings  and dismiss them by moving too quickly over them. I was curious  to know her story, and happy to feel the elders come around me and hear their voices guiding me to help in which ever way I could.

A girl of about 10 appeared at the side of her, She had her mothers eyes and I could  hear he sayings “Tell her I love her and that I am happy and at peace ” she smiled and then said her name “Jessie without me having to ask.

I look directly at Sheila and repeated what her daughter had said  and a stream of information came through, all evidence that that this mother needed  and I began giving her the messages her deceased child was telling me.  Her shocked face changed and lit up as the words could only have come from the child and she knew then she was with her. The child said she  had no recollection of her death just that at first she missed her Mum so much. She told her that she was not happy  that the house looked so neglected and she wanted her to know that she cared that her Mum was not happy.

Soon the little girl had given her message and left and now it was time to shuffle the Tarot cards

Slowly has we proceeded she began to relax and seemed in a better place than when I had first arrived and so the hour passed quickly. With the tarot cards spread out in front of her she looked unsure, I spoke gently to her and I had asked her to shuffle the cards and pull out  three cards. We lay the cards on the table and looked at them

She laid her hands on the first card and said “What does that mean” It was the 9 of Swords it meant the pain she had suffered at the loss of her only daughter and the other losses she had suffer soon surfaced. Her story began to unfold and slowly and quietly she spoke of  her husband who left shortly after the child’s death and how ill her own Mother was then, also how a friend had let her down and how difficult it had been for her to face life in isolation. Tears now ran freely down her face.

The Moon was the second card in the trilogy and this card  for her in this place in the reading  shows the result of all the pain and loss she felt and had turned into a deepening depression she had endured and not been able to escape or even understand.

The third card was the 10 of Wands and this signified  the burdens she had carried and how she had made herself  responsible for all the ills that had besieged her and how she then made it very difficult to heal.

As we passed through the cards her appearance changed, she became more animated and moved closer to the tabel. She told her tale well and at the end the very last three cards were place on the tabel and she suddenly smiled as if she knew what I was going to say.. The Ace of Wands is bright with expectation, growth and new beginnings and it  appearance made it impossible for me to think in a negative way about this women’s life.  With a lighter heart  I had  decided to try to move her forward,  after all it was part of the deal: just not too quickly.

I asked her where she thought she might start in piecing her life back together, because it was very obvious that she had a great future in front of her and I needed her to mark it herself. She took a deep breath in and said ” I have no idea,I feel stuck I full of grief  for so long, I had not believed that I could have a future at all”

The Justice card lay at the side of the first card and I asked her if she felt like she was doing herself justice, ” Of course not “she shook her head and said she couldn’t  eat properly, or anything else at that moment. A large sigh escaped and she twisted the handkerchief in her hand, and she looked at me as if a penny had just dropped and she stared off into a space which gave ups it secrets and gave her a vision of what she would need to do to get her life back.

The third card  felt warm in my hand and I became excited, I sometime sense what is coming before I turn a card over and this was the opening  I needed to explain what she could expect in the near future. As I spoke I could see disbelief in her eyes I carried on knowing I needed  to bring her back to herself some how.

The Ace of Cups represents the birth of self love and the new seed of loving feelings being born. It is a card of  expanding  emotions  and because it appeared in the third slot  as her future card it was ideal to open up the conversation about how she would experience this in her new future. It was there to let  her know that she needed to bring in the love that was sadly missing, the love for herself began with forgiveness I reminded her. How could she been totally reponsible for other peoples actions and that being so isolated had created her mind set. I wanted her to know that she was loved no matter what she thought and even though I knew and said she was loved for just for being alive . She looked at me with a disbelief and getting her to acknowledge she need help with this turn around was perhaps one of the largest mountains I have had to climb for sometime..

Today I met Sheila for coffee, she always brings me flowers. She looked so different from the first time I met her. At peace and now in love.