Learning the Art of Writing

Archive for September, 2009

Carl Rodgers

carl rodger 
These are some of the books that the humanist author Carl Rodgers has written since he first started practicing as a psychologist and counselling practitioner that I have spent many hours with and this is a small discussion around his genuine attempt to place the individual in their own reality and need to be connected to others on a congruent level. 
The Therapeutic Relationship and its Impact –
A Study of Psychotherapy with Schizophrenics.
Freedom to Learn—
Encounter Groups —
 On personal Power

Carl Rodgers writes of his fundamental belief in the subjective, observing that “ Man lives essentially in his own personal and subjective world and even his most objective functioning, in science mathematics and the like is the result of subjective purpose and subjective choice”

When I first encountered this man’s theories in the early 80’s it was like a weight had been lifted from me. Someone who had a similar belief’d as  mine, and although I had tried hard to practice “absolute positive regard” I then didnt have the language for what i thought and trying to do it for others, fell short because  I was still living with very abused and abusive people, and  still abusing myself  in various  ways. After all it’s what we had learnt to do. When I first came across this theory was like something had sparked me off. Energy had been ignited. When I finally  qualifed  as a  counsellor,  I was training in Nottingham on Heathcote Street where the Mushroom Bookshop had lived for many years, a very therapeutic area. The day was barmy and life changing. We sat in a circle and I began to get really excited that I was going to watch Carl Rodgers on video explaining what  “Absolute Positive Regard” was about. I  remember I cried when I heard him talk.

So in need was I of a sign, that what I believed was the way, and that was very subjective to me.
And yes why wouldn’t you want to be treated with respect and basic human kindness. It all made sense; I was on to something, something big. Something I had not experienced, but knew was part of my authentic self.
As with plants animal so with people we all need feeding one way or another and for me it was human kindness I lacked in my spiritual diet.
His alternative hypothesis is there are as many realities as there are people and people are increasingly “inwardly rejecting the view of one single, culture- approved reality”. I agreed and this is where I was basing my belief system that I am unique to this world and I would just want what we all wanted  respect and the freedom to learn. He coined the term “ The Actualising Tendency” which I seem to have a lot of and have striven for and  been very curious about over the past few years. This is my story of my own learning and development of these features and the active processes that has developed these  capacities in the direction of maintaining, enhancing and reproducing the new real me.

The difficulties I have had has been when these tendencies have been blocked. My attempt at wholeness and towards actualization of my potential has made me the happiest. One of the main reason I attracted both Counselling and Meditation was to explore where I was blocked, and how could I solve these mysteries without language and understanding of who I was, what had happened and how would I get there. Firstly I recognised that I had a concept of myself that was not the “real me” I had learnt to adapt; I had learnt behaviour that was no longer appropriate to my situation and was destructive. They  had been placed there by others because they needed me to believe they were right in order to control me and I had  take these false beliefs on and was being controlled.

 I did not have someone who loved me just for me no matter what I did, and this is where I feel that the need to have approval became greatest. For someone to give me Positive Regard helps me to experience myself as unique and loved. I began a “what if ” life, what if i just did what they wanted me to do I would be loved. I used my iffing to control
my life, and was layed with value judgements and when if I stopped iffing I would start living and accept myself for who I am loved and loveableand unique and so are you.

My Mircle Minute

I subscribed to a newsletter some 2 years ago and every time it comes to me it mirrors my exact situation.

Its  a year ago today since my friend Robert Longbottom passed over and I had not seen him much towards the end I had moved out of the area and was just redecorating the kitchen of the new house.

I was up the step ladder putting some wallpaper on the walls not thinking of anything particular when I felt something behind me and this something stayed for a couple of hours and then left.

I had no way of knowing who it was, for the whole week songs were coming on the radio we shared, someone gave me a Crystal Bible and it reminded me of him and the lovely day we had in Derbyshire. And lots of other things, were coming back to me, wonderful  memories of the empty kitchen and when he blew himself up with the gas leak.

 The reason I am writing this is just to let you know Rob wherever you are I loved you with all my heart but it was so hard to watch you kill yourself and I did not have the strength to stand by and watch that happen.

I have felt guilty ever since like somehow I deserted you in your hour of need. I had to accept that your illness was greater than me and I could not save you.

 So today when this newsletter popped into my mail box I know that the universe helps me on many many levels.

And by the way this man is fantastic Dick Warn and his Miracle Minute:

Pain Is Inevitable

Bad things happen. The passing of a parent, the death of a pet, rejection

from someone important, the loss of something you truly enjoy, and the

list is endless. There is no “pain free” way to live. We build attachments.

 Attachments come to an end. Yet, as Buddha said, “Pain is inevitable.

Suffering is optional.”
Most painful events are followed by shock, anger, denial, and blame.


These emotions are normal. What causes suffering is getting stuck in

anger, denial or blame. Some people make careers out of anger and

Carl Jung, Swiss psychiatrist said, “The greatest and most important


problems in life are all in a certain sense insoluble. They can never be

solved, but only outgrown.”
Outgrowing problems demands acceptance. Acceptance doesn’t mean


 that we like it. Acceptance means we accept the fact that it happened and

 understand that the only thing we can control is our reaction. Some

people choose the path of a survivor and others choose the path of a victim.

 Arthur Gordon, American author said, “Some people confuse acceptance

with apathy, but there’s all the difference in the world. Apathy fails to

distinguish between what can and what cannot be helped; acceptance

makes that distinction. Apathy paralyzes the will-to-action; acceptance

frees it by relieving it of impossible burdens.”
William Cowper, British poet said, “No traveler ever reached that blest


 abode who found not thorns and briers in his road.”
And Thomas Fuller, British clergyman said, “I will not meddle with that


which I cannot mend.”

Dick Warn

Copyright 2009 Richard S. Warn & Associates 

My sacred space

Is in the mental realms, and is my space I go into and shut out all interference from the nay sayers. I have always enjoyed story’s about the Witch’s and when I knew they were connected to a way of being I wanted to know more.

“This Witch is that part of ourselves that yearns for the return of night (the unconscious hours),who leads us to seek out the uncivilised parts of our nature so that we may cultivate and extend her powers. This Witch isunrestrained by social mores, a true heretic of society and makes us connect with our real self when we feel that we dont fit in.”

The Whites Workshop

This is a perfect description of my feeling about my life in general,  I am Psychic Healer and work professionally has a Tarot Card Reader. I have never really described myself has a witch, but as life has progressed  I respect the term and I am completely open to new ways of being even if it is outside  what other people see for me or believe in themselves.

I could  no longer relate to the mainly male  religions and therefore did not fit in to the normal idea of how a spiritual person was perceived. So I began looking towards the  Goddess beliefs especially the Wicca belief and the fact that it was based on developing the strength and empowerment for  women which drew me to this practice because of my own background and my own need for this.

I began by finding a sacred space, what is a sacred space I hear you say, well to me, it’s a place that can be both  mental as in your imagination and dreams  and a psychical space such has a alter, favourite tree or a room tha t you have sole access to, where only your influence is felt and that it is charged with your positive energy.

This made perfect sense to me and was a good starting point because as a woman, life had  not always allow me  my  own space in any shape  or form due to the pressures of being someone mother,daughter, or wife.And this was especially true for me because where I lived at the time didnt offer me my space that I could say was sacred to just me. Around about that time my interest in being outside in nature became stronger and it is what we did has children to escape a lonely child hood. I began to relate to nature when I was five and always wanted to go into the woods and sit with the trees. This gave me the space I craved, pure oxygen and a sense of  higher self and how we conncet has one

Now I am luckier now in terms of where I live, especially my life situation and I enjoy making the space sacred just to me, which I have never had.  I  started this practice by having a place to meditate inside the house  as it is quiet difficult to meditate outside I needed somewhere inside. I choose the colours and the way it felt, and of course now I live on myown this is so much easier. This then extended to making an altar,  and developing my garden and eventually because it was so much fun the whole area  became a  place I could call sacred.

It helped so much and vital when I came to focus on my spiritual practices, has it leads me into a safe and peaceful mindset , where I can do my Tarot Card readings  and connect with my higher self listen to my guides and generally go in times of stress and feel the calm and secure.  I need to be able to develop a peaceful fulfilled life and this  part of the practice affords this and is the grounding for everything else.

Perfect Timing for a Dreaming Soul

This is the right time for me to move forward and keep the faith that my prayers are being answered.

I read Dreaming the Secret Wishes of the Soul by Robert Moss and I found that the wordshe used where ones that  I had never been able to voice  in my life  but realted to on a fundemental level and has a dreamer he spoke directly to my soul.

“One of the greatest gifts of dreaming is that it puts us in touch with soul”

 Was  the opening line in the first paragraph, and it therefore  made me think and remember times I had  often wondered what dreaming was all about?.

Was it just something  we did when we went to sleep? Or was  it was it like walking through another  door in our minds has we slept, by slipping into a different rooms that vaguely resembled my waking world, but had a fluid landscape and strange situations and people.  

“It takes us beyond the limited understanding of the everyday self and shows us who we are, what our soul’s purpose is in this life experience and what our heart truly yearns for.”

Yes~I began to see that  it is the sound of my soul’s voice talking to me in visions.

He goes on to say that:

“There is a word for this vital function of dreams in the language of the Huron, a dreaming people of North America.The word is ondinnonk, and it means a “secret wish of the soul”, especially as revealed in dreams.”

What does your “secret wish of soul” reveal to you. If you knew that dreaming was every part has important to your life what would you do?  Find out more about how to understand your dreams, listen to their message and set about fulfilling your souls’ secret wish?.

these were questions that I wanted to answer for myself and I have always dreamed and understood that they were important in my quest for healing. I have always encouraged those around me to understand that their dream life is as  important has their waking lives and to be aware of their dreams and there symbols. Mine was finding a voice and I found that my still small souls’ voice guiding me in my judgement in all the situations I have in my life.and  I found it mainly  in my dreams. 

How this tends works is that if anything is  bothering me  in the day sure enough it comes to me in my dreams, and I have whole conversations  with the people involved and a few turn up who I dont know in my waking life  but tended  to have lots to say, trying to problem solve. My dreams were always in vivid colours and I could bring back whole conversations that would solve the problems I had in my waking life.

I ama survivor of child abuse, and had many times was in so much pain that it was a wonder I survived. I had mild learning difficulties, and had disassociated from myself  and my pain without knowing this. i drank and smoked would be completly distructive in all my relationships and them had anger issues.The only thing I did realte to was my imagination and my dreams and I would be fasinated when I dreamt something. the other thing that was happening at the time was my psychic awareness was growing but at that point didnt have a vioce.

I had a dream which I related to this and was so strong it was impossible to ignore it. I had been asking for a way forward in my healing and knowing I had a lot to do I had been talking about to members in a Women’s support group I ran at that time. So when I was twenty six  I have a very strong dream and it was of  figures coming out of cards, all complete and alive all addressed with vivid colours all talking at the same time. I had a warm feeling and had the most interesting conversations, especially with one image, she was a women stilling between to large pillars with a head dress and white  flowing robes, she spoke of my Mother and my Brother, who had both past two years earlier. They had told her to come to me and tell me that I need to walk the path of being a healer. 

 I had no idea that they were Tarot cards in my dream has I had never been around anyone who had any Tarot cards and I had never pick  any up  or had a reading by anyone else, but here they were all twenty~two of them all clamouring for my attention.  This dream stayed with me all the next day and their words came back to me, in the end I went with my husband and found these very same cards and even the box which was black white and red they came in was the same one has in my dream. The back of the cards had a cross on it with a lotus in the middle of the card and the background had diamond shapes with all different colours on . i know now that they were the Alister Crowley cards

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I was totally astounded to find the very same cards in the shop as in my dream and even then I was directed to the shop by my guide. It turned out to be the greatest single thing that happened to and there has been some close run others has contenders, but me listening to the small voice took me on that  healing path and now I am so grateful that I listened.

For out of that  I developed some really great skill with people and had an excellent education that I would never have had in school, has it was about my psychic life and power. In fact this mirrored my souls’ purpose and gave me my start on my lives ‘ journey.

Excerpts from:Dreaming the Secret Wishes of the Soul by Robert Moss