Archive for July, 2006
Achievement and happiness begins with self confidence
As you may know , having poor self confidence
or low self esteem can make many things really difficult.
Conversely, when you have self confidence that is solid
and reliable, most things become easy AND fun as well!
Good self confidence allows you to achieve the real goals
in your life whether they are to do with work, relationships
or just being comfortable with yourself.
Without self-confidence it’s difficult to fulfil your
potential in any area…
If you’re giving a presentation and you’re constantly
worrying about how you’re coming across, that’s a waste
of brain power!
How much more compelling, exciting or persuasive would
you be if all of your attention was focused powerfully
on the job in hand?
If you’re talking to someone you’d like to get to know
better, how will you come across if you’re always
thinking ‘Am I saying the right thing?’, ‘Do they like me?’,
and so on…
If you’re going out socially, you need to be able to
ENJOY IT! That’s what socialising is about!
People need other people, but without self-confidence,
you miss out on the joy that good relationships bring.
The Unthinkable Is Possible!
Think about it now. When are you at your most relaxed,
happy, funny, or chatty? I’ll bet it’s when you’re with
people you’re most comfortable with. Maybe old friends,
or family perhaps.
Now, what if you could feel that good meeting new people,
in a meeting at work or doing public speaking? What if
you could really feel ‘I am what I am, take it or leave it!’?
How would things be if you could go into ANY situation
with curiosity and a sense of fun, with the thought
‘Whatever happens here, I’ll be fine’?
I’m here to tell you this is not only possible, it’s pretty
easy too! But it will take a little work from you. Just keep
the benefits in mind.
What will it mean to you to be 100% confident?
Not arrogant, not loud and annoying, just easily,
calmly confident about who you are and what you can do.
It’s essential for your motivation that you do this.
Think a little about it now. What will those old difficult
situations be like once you are self confident? How will you
feel with that person that currently causes you problems?
Yep, you can allow yourself to get a bit excited, because
it’s coming your way – the automatic ability to be fully
self-confident and allow yourself to achieve everything
you’re capable of.
So, when it comes to building self confidence, we’ve had a whole
lot of experience.
THE SELF CONFIDENCE COURSE
To ensures that your new confident attitude
has time to ‘sink in’. In this way, your self confidence
will become a habit, not an effort!During the course, you will be asked to do things that might not make sense at first. We’d like to ask you to JUST DO IT!
One of the things we’ll be talking about is that you can’t have
confidence something will work until you’ve done it, and
have got the evidence! In addition, it is better if you do each Tutorial each week so that the ideas and new experiences have time to ‘sink in’ before the next tutorial.
Moreover, if you are serious about building your self confidence, you will need to take about 15 minutes each week to complete the course requirements. 15 MINUTES A WEEK for something that could radically change your life for the better. Worth it? We think so. OK, so on to the nitty-gritty! This is the way the course goes
Tutorial 1 (this one) : Evaluation of the current situation
Tutorial 2: Preparation for success
Tutorial 3: Implementation of your confident attitude
Tutorial 4: Utilisation of your new skills
Tutorial 5: Consolidation of self confidence
Tutorial 6: Realisation of your goals
Now before we start, there’s one more thing I’d like to ask
you to do. Make a document called ‘Confidence course notes’ and type at the top http://www.self-confidence.co.uk. Keep it in your personal documents folder. This way, if you lose your emails, or anything goes wrong with your email server, you’ll know where to find us. This will be where youkeep your course notes as we progress. OK, so let us get going.
Firstly, the 3 biggest myths of self-confidence. These are the most
common things we hear from confidence clients.
1) "You have to be born with it."
Not true, self confidence is a set of skills that can be learned,
just like learning to drive or play a game.
2) "If you’ve had your confidence destroyed, it’s gone for good."
Wrong. It may take a greater leap of faith to start building it back
up, but once you’re there you’ll be much hardier than you were before
and less likely to have your confidence shaken again.
3) "I’ll know I’m confident when I can be sure I’ll succeed at
How can you know you’ll succeed when you’ve never done something
Confidence is much more about tolerating uncertainty:
being cool with not knowing what is going to happen.
It’s important that you look at these and see if you have been
thinking along any of these lines.
In your notes, write down whether you think any of these are
true. I don’t want you to change your mind now, but it will be
interesting to look back in a few weeks time to see how your
ideas about self confidence have changed.
Great self confidence can be learned, and you’re going to learn it!
Trainer Tip – Assessing the Situation
With reference to number 3) above, you can use Track 2 on CD1
‘The TEST Model’ to assess your ‘confidence readiness’
for a new or existing situation. This will show you
exactly where to focus your efforts to increase your
Now onto your first exercise.
*IMPORTANT* – Although these answers are for your own reference, please write them down now, it’s a vital first step, and
you will need them later.
The essential first step to building your self-confidence is to
assess what ‘self confidence’ means to you.
Just saying ‘I want to be more confident’ is like saying
‘I just want to travel’! Where? How? When?
So, an example might be: "When I am with a new group of
people, I want to be able to relax, join in conversations and ask
people about themselves."
In your course notes, write your answers to the following questions:
1) What does ‘self confidence’ mean to you? Generally, your answer
should start with "I want to be able to…" or "I want to be…" Stay
away from "I don’t want to be…", "I want to be less…" and other
‘avoiding’ statements. You need to know where you going, not where
you’ve come from!
2) In what situations do you need more confidence?
3) Where do you already have it? – For example: with your family,
friends, at work…? Around which of the following are you confident in your abilities? Cooking, gardening, vocabulary, spelling,
exercising, driving? What do you just know you can do without
thinking about it?
Trainer Tip – A Confidence Trigger
On the Self Confidence Trainer, you’ll find a
hypnotic session that is designed to give you easy
access to feelings of confidence. As part of the
session, you’ll be asked about times you have felt
good. You can use your answers to question 3 in
4) Write down one thing you will be able to do once you have the confidence you need. This should be something tangible, like making a particular phone call, saying something to a particular person, giving a presentation, speaking up in a situation. We will refer back to this later.
Write these answers down now. When you think you’ve got all of them; stop, take a deep breath and then think some more until you come up with others.
Really, please do this now. We will be using your answers
next week. We know that people who really apply themselves
to this course get great results!
Trainer Tip – Rehearsing Success
Track 4 on CD2 enables you to rehearse things
going really well in a difficult situation. This
is an amazingly simple, but incredibly effective
technique when done properly (it’s usually done
badly in the form of ‘Positive Thinking’ !)
You can use your answer to 4) in this exercise.
This will make you feel much more capable and
optimistic about success in this area, and
drastically increase the likelihood of things
That’s it! You’ve completed Tutorial 1. It does take a little
effort, but the payback will be worth it!
Finally, thanks for choosing me as your Confidence Coach.
I appreciate you giving me the chance to share this
life-changing experience with you.
Your blog is smart and thoughtful – not a lot of fluff.<br />
You enjoy a good discussion, especially if it involves picking apart ideas.<br />
However, you tend to get easily annoyed by any thoughtless comments in your blog.
</td></tr></table><div align="center"><a href="http://www.blogthings.com/whatcolorshouldyourblogorjournalbequiz/">What Color Should Your Blog or Journal Be?</a></div>
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Table 1 tarot reader at festival
If you have ever been to a psychic fair, you’ve probably seen tarot card readers hard at work, giving readings from tidy little tables and rows of booths. You might even have thought about offering tarot readings yourself at a new-age festival or a fundraiser for your favourite non-profit group.
It’s a lot of fun to read tarot cards in public. The atmosphere is charged with excitement. Clients are enthusiastic. What’s more, your talents as a tarot reader will be tested, stretched, and ultimately strengthened. You will probably develop techniques in public that you would never discover in the comfort of your living room.
At the same time, public readings can also be very demanding. You will be expected to be clear, concise, accurate — and fast. You may be giving readings to people who have never had a tarot reading before, and who don’t know what to expect. You will probably have to work in a noisy, frenetic space, often in full view of onlookers.
If you would like to try your hand at reading tarot in public, here are some tips.
1. Be prepared. Gather everything you will need the day before you plan to do public readings.
2. Be yourself. You don’t need to wear a costume (unless you want to), or talk in an accent, or pretend to be someone you’re not. Just read the cards for strangers as you would read them for a friend.
3. Feel free to ask other tarot readers what they charge, and price your readings accordingly. One rate to start with might be $1 a minute.
4. Decide beforehand how you would like to manage your time. You may want to set a ten-minute minimum, for example, or a twenty-minute maximum to prevent long-winded clients from monopolizing your time.
5.Dress comfortably. You might be doing some heavy setup work, and then find yourself sitting for hours on end once your readings start.
6. If you can, recruit an assistant to help you with crowd control. Otherwise, post a sign-up sheet.
7. Bring business cards and brochures, and hand them out between readings. Also, be sure to hand a business card to everyone who gets a reading from you.
8. Offer free one-card readings if business slows down. You’ll get more customers — and you’ll have more fun — if you keep busy.
9. Don’t pressure anyone, but don’t be afraid to ask people passing by if they’d like a tarot reading. Some people just need to be invited to the table.
10. Use a tarot deck you really like, and make sure you’re comfortable with all of the symbols and images on the cards. If you are starting from scratch, get a copy of ‘Learning the Tarot: A Tarot Book for Beginners’. If you need to review basic meanings, try ‘Tarot Plain & Simple’. Another good choice is ‘The Complete Book of Tarot : A Step-by-Step Guide to Reading the Cards’.
11. Try to use a deck that depicts people from a range of ethnic backgrounds, so that every client can identify with the images. And remember that you’re in public, where sweet-faced children and little old ladies can see your cards. Make sure your deck is “G” or “PG”-rated. ‘Hanson-Roberts Tarot Deck’ is a good choice for clients of all ages and sensibilities.
12. Bring along an alternate deck or two, so you can switch if the spirit moves you. ‘LS Univrsl Tarots (Waite)’ is an elegant version of the familiar Rider-Waite-Smith deck. ‘Renaissance Tarot Deck’ is a beautiful, classic-looking deck. People who might be a little intimidated by traditional tarot cards are often drawn to ‘Voyager Tarot Kit: Intuition Cards for the 21st Century’.
13. Learn some spreads that you can do quickly. I recommend ‘The Heart of the Tarot : The Two-card Layout: Easy, Fast, and Insightful’.
14. Post a sign that advertises your services and prices. Be specific, so people passing by can see at a glance what you offer, how much it costs, and what they will get out of the deal. One weekend, at a Spring Wholeness Festival in St. Paul, I used printed up a sign that read, “Tarot Readings: $20. Your career/Your love life/Your friends and family.”
15. You might want to keep contact information for people who get readings from you. If so,include a space for names, addresses, e-mail, and phone numbers on your sign-up list.
16. Drink water or tea while you read, because your throat will probably get dry.
17. Bring breath mints. If your throat is dry or you are a little nervous, you might need them.
18. Take a break every two hours.
19. Eat well before you leave home and stop for lunch or a snack if you are reading for extended periods.
20. If you find that you are especially sensitive to other people’s moods, do some shielding and grounding meditations before you begin your readings.
21. Personally, I like to keep public readings light and uplifting, and I keep that intention in mind the whole time. Offer to follow up with a private session if you meet someone who needs a more intense reading.
22. Set a time to go home. Don’t feel compelled to stay until you have worked for everyone who wants a reading. Bring along your appointment book to schedule additional readings for your waiting list.
The Traveling Tarot Reader’s Checklist
– Tarot cards
Don’t forget the tools you might need to set up and maintain your space:
Self-Healing to Reduce Overload Take 20 minutes to one hour for this meditation.
1. Relax in a reclining position with your knees supported comfortably from below.
2. Take a few deep breaths, and be more present in your body.
3. Ground yourself (ask to be grounded deep into the ground).
4. Pull in your aura to two to three feet from your body in every direction.
5. Call in the Emissaries of Light and Ascended Masters, as well as your divine guides.
6. Ask your Higher Self to be with you.
7. Ask for the gentle field of silvery aquamarine light that permeates your aura and body to be placed around your entire auric field.
8. Affirm your desire to awaken your soul and allow its light to shine through every cell in your body.
Caution: If you have experienced a lot of trauma in your life, only do this every two weeks at first, until you feel ready for more.